So, I have a question for everyone. When you hear the words be brave, what do you think of? We all have different answers in our own personal experiences. Maybe you’ll need to fight a lion. Maybe you’ll need to battle an illness. Or Maybe, you’ll just have to deal with me at CW talking your ear off every day. That takes a lot of courage. Let’s be honest. When I was invited to meet the board of directors for CW, I had to find a lot of courage to do that. It was not easy, but I did it. If you feel like you don’t have the strength to do something, listen to my story.
Before we go on this journey, I want to say a massive thank you to the staff in Bristol. I know that it was not easy when I first started but, they have never stopped supporting my dreams and they will always pick me up when I fall. If I didn’t have their support, I wouldn’t be writing for CW. Heck, I wouldn’t have been able to meet the board. Thank you guys. You guys are literally superheroes in my eyes.
Now, I was told that the board of directors wanted to meet me in February at my six-month meeting. Wendy, my boss, asked me if I would be brave enough to meet them. Then she told me it was March 28. The board retreat was actually on my birthday. We planned on just doing cake that day so I couldn’t use that as an excuse. I had no choice but to agree to do it.
Wendy decided it would be a great idea to talk about my journey with CW so far. From the time I started until now. She also thought that It would be a great idea to tell me about a birthday surprise. Bad idea because I kept asking her what it was. She got annoyed very easily. I was shocked she didn’t take the battery out of my iPad so I could not ask. Thank goodness, she has self-control.
I wrote something up for a video and she had her lovely friend Mer film us talking in the rehab office after we kicked the counselors out. Don’t worry. They survive for an hour without it but, I’m banned from their office still to this day. Apparently, they don’t want to hear the nice things I say about them. See what an awesome sense of humor we have in Bristol. So, I nailed it on the first take because I’m a natural as you can tell.
A couple of days before, I was like oh my gosh, I’m meeting with the board in two days, holy cow. I had all these thoughts. What if I screwed up and lost my place at CW. What If I got sick and missed it? What if my pants accidentally fall down while I’m presenting? All of the mistakes I could make. But, Mistakes are just learning tools. Am I right?
The Wednesday before the meeting, I went to the movies with the class. I was totally off as I had expected. My teacher, Miriam, noticed that I was not causing any trouble for her. Before the movie, I went to the Dollar Store and bought snacks. With my anxiety level and freedom to choose, I decided to stress eat. I got a big bag of Cheetos and some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and ate them both.
That night after I picked out my outfit, I tried to distract myself with YouTube. My dad already knew I was nervous about the meeting. He told me that they were just friends who I had not met yet. That put me at ease to some extent and it was enough to make me get a good night’s sleep.
The morning of the meeting as everyone wished me a happy birthday, I was going insane with anxiety. In my mind, I was thinking I can’t do it. But, I knew if I backed out now, I would be upset with myself for a while. My para, Ashley, asked me what I wanted to do for the morning and I said disappear. Well, she said, “Absolutely not.” She basically said I will drag you out kicking and screaming if I have to. Or have someone else do it. That’s why she is a good friend.
I was quiet on the drive over which is every staff member’s dream in Bristol. When we got there, it wasn’t a dream anymore. It was real. I met Wendy at the door and the first thing I said was I can’t. She responded with We’re not doing that, today. I sat down and I asked about the surprise again. She looked like she wanted to throw me out of a window. Bill Green came over and explained how he was really impressed by my writing. As I looked around and talked to people, I realized that this was not as scary as I imagined.
It was time for me to present. Wendy played the video. Then I went up and answered a couple of questions asked by Lynn. Everyone loved seeing me present and I felt really proud at that moment. Bill came to the podium and said what a great job I did. And then, he said that there might be a spot on the board for me as an advocate. My world shifted. I must have heard that wrong, I thought. I asked Wendy and she confirmed that it was true. I wasn’t just hearing things.
I remember rushing into another room and texting my father. I couldn’t even begin to process the news. I didn’t know whether to cry or smile. My mind just raced as I had lunch. I genuinely thought that was Wendy’s surprise. But it was cake. She ordered a cake for my birthday and they all sang Happy Birthday to me. It was a fairytale come true.
That afternoon and evening I was spending announcing the news to everyone which is ironic because I told Ashley I would like to keep it quiet. I should have known that my big Italian mouth couldn’t keep a secret. After a few days, when the news sank in, I got really scared at first. You see, I kinda had it wrong. For a long time, I had this idea that in order to be respectful towards important people, I had to be something that I am not. My rehab counselor, Kai, taught me that I don’t need to change myself because they want to see the real me.
I know that I will make a great board member with the support of my family and friends. I will probably make a couple of mistakes but, I will learn from them. If I ever don’t know how to handle a situation, I’ll come to the staff for advice even though I try to minimize the amount of time I talk to them. I know that I have more courage than I believe. You have more courage than you know. So, I ask you to find the courage to take a risk while I am preparing to be an advocate for my peers.
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