Not all fishes swim the same. Not every bird flies the same. And not everybody moves the same. My Cerebral Palsy makes me move a little differently. Imagine if you’re working somewhere. You’re doing your job just fine, and someone randomly points this out to you. How would you feel? Sad? Mad? Would you like to respond with I was happy until you showed up? Sometimes, when people haven’t experienced being around disabled people, they tend to think that they’re less than and don’t understand basic conversations. I, as a disabled person, was guilty of this, believe it or not, but we’ll get into that later on. To the disabled community, I don’t want you to have the victim mentality as I tell this story. We don’t play that game here. The takeaway you should have is that I’ll prove those people wrong, and I don’t need anyone’s pity or special treatment.
Now, I have experienced my fair share of people treating me like a baby and thinking I can’t do something. Because they were a doctor, they thought their prediction of me not being able to do much would be correct. Imagine if he saw a published book with my name on it. When he came to get it signed by the author, I would look him dead in the eye and say remember me. I guess you were right. I really didn’t do much with my life except write four bestselling novels.
Moving on, I don’t have time to tell you about every single ignorant comment or person, but I will share this story because this one sticks out the most. This is probably the most disrespected I’ve ever been. Side note: this is one of those rare times when someone was just being rude and discriminating. Most people have the best intentions, and they may not realize that they’re hurting your feelings. Some disabled people like me, for instance, might be a little bit more sensitive to comments because we try not to see our disability that often.
Anyways, In November of 2023, I took a trip to the state capitol with class. Before we started the tour, some of my classmates stopped at the bathroom like any normal person. I was standing in the hallway and didn’t actually see this happen. If I had, I’d probably have cried and felt like a burden.
A lady came into the bathroom and started to rush my class while they were doing something mankind has done since caveman. When our teacher asked what she was doing? Her literal response was “I was just making sure that they didn’t make a mess. You know how they are.” It took everything in the teacher to not get arrested for assault. I didn’t know what she meant. How are we exactly? Were we aliens? Were we animals? Were we not capable of understanding basic human decency?
We,the disabled community, are people not charity cases. We don’t need the internal stares, the comments about our weaknesses and the baby voices. Instead of pity, we need people to see our potential and who will hold us to expectations we can achieve. Fortunately, I have or had people in my life like that. Other than my parents, I had this one teacher who treated me no different from any normal twenty-three-year-old. Kai Johnson, my rehab counselor, picked up where he left off.
One question has to be asked. Why don’t some people take the time to get to know someone who’s not like them? Think about your answers for a moment. Maybe it’s because nobody has shown them this fault. Kai called me out when I first started CW. To be fair, I had really bad homesickness due to just graduating from my other day program that year. However, that was no excuse for me to act arrogant and to not give the other consumers a chance to engage in conversation because I was too smart for them. Someone should have stuffed me in a locker back then. Now, I have made friends and allowed them to rank on me twenty-four-seven.
A key factor is education. It’s important to note that education about disabilities is crucial in order to not be confused when they see disabled people out in public. When my sister sees little children staring at me, she places the blame on the parents for not educating them about disabled people because it’s their responsibility. Kids don’t know any better but, adults do. They’re capable of understanding disabilities and can make decisions to educate themselves.
We all are human beings. We all need to be understood, loved, and respected. We all have to carry our own crosses as my uncle would say. We should strive to stand together as one. Bottom line is we need to get to know our people before jumping to conclusions about someone. Instead of judging a book by its cover, let’s read other people’s stories and see what we can learn about ourselves.
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